Loss is one of the most painful experiences in life. It’s unfortunately something most of us will have to go through. The pain doesn’t just disappear after the supposed five stages of grief; we will always miss our loved ones who are no longer with us, but in the West where death is taboo, we’re seldom given the opportunity to remember our dead and keep their memory alive.
Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) is a Mexican Holiday which remembers and celebrates the lives of deceased loved ones. Syncretising indigenous Aztec rituals with Catholic tradition, originally it was thought to fall in early August, prior to the Spanish conquest of the region, but moved to 31 October-2 November to coincide with All Saints Day.
In recent years, Mexican London Paola Feregrino has seen a surge in popularity in this Mexican holiday, but it’s seldom the joyful celebration she remembers from back home. Through cultural misappropriation it’s been re-branded and re-imagined as something darker and scarier, a counterpart to Halloween. ‘Dia de los Muertos is different to Halloween,’ she says, ‘it celebrates the dead rather than being afraid of them. Most people think of death as something depressing—something we shouldn’t talk about. For us Mexicans it’s different: of course we get sad when a loved one passes away, but we love remembering them at their best and honouring them, so on Day of the Dead that’s what we do.’
Scholars have traced the origins of the holiday to an Aztec festival celebrating the deity Mictēcacihuātl, queen of the underworld. The modern correspondence is believed to be La Catrina, the iconic tall skeleton lady, often deemed Mexico’s ‘Grand Dame of Death.’ ‘The Aztecs saw life and death as dual parts, as a natural part of our cycle,’ says Paola. ‘We don’t know what’s on the other side, but we can learn to accept it as something natural.’
How to celebrate Día de los Muertos without succumbing to cultural appropriation? Take this as an opportunity to learn and engage with Latin culture. ‘This can include visiting museums, watching documentaries, or attending local parades and events. If you want to go to a party, firstly find out if the event is curated by a Mexican, they will be on hand inviting you to remember, to see, to listen, and to connect with those in your heart that have passed.’
Every home has its own rituals and traditions for celebrating those who have moved on. Says Paola: '[My family] sets up a shrine at in a little corner at home with photos, flesh flowers, candles and personal objects of the loved one. We play the music they liked and we cook the dishes they most enjoyed. We put food and drinks on the shrine, as we believe that day their spirit comes to be amongst us, as long as they are remembered, they will be with us. We think about our best moments with that person. We then go out to join in colourful celebrations across town. We dance, write poetry and paint our faces to be with them for the day.’
The Day of the Dead puts great value in life, often so fleeting and seemingly insignificant in the greater scheme of things. By collectively remembering our dead, there’s no saying how long they will be around in spirit. Opening up the conversation about death also reminds us of our own mortality. We too will one day die—it’s the only given from the moment we are born. Sometimes we forget our lives are finite and postpone happiness to some later date. Paola says it’s a good reminder to ‘make sure we are living life to the fullest!’
The Day of the Dead typically falls between 31-2 November, but The Book Club in Shoreditch is hosting a traditional party, curated by Paola, on 26 October. Tickets are available here.